Steve And David Sensemaking Experiment On Personal Change

About This Page
This page contains details of a Sensemaking experiment carried out on Zoom by David and Steve, members of the Rebel Wisdom online community. Initially this page was written by Steve.

The Experiment/Game
The game involves each person choosing two things they think the other person could improve about themselves and then presenting those things in as non-judgemental way as possible.

The ultimate aim is to learn about personal change by practising and discussing it.

The Result
David and Steve tried the game and the video can be seen at:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMun4b2XUag

and summary notes of the conversation can be found on Google Docs here.

It took about 40 minutes and each of us had a few minutes (timed) to talk about what the other person could improve.

We both went to great efforts to present the suggested change in a way that minimised offence, by showing maximum respect for the reasons for that person's existing behaviour.

We also both made an effort to receive the constructive criticism without getting triggered and without being too attached to the ego that usually defends our current behaviour, and blocks our ability to change.

What Steve Learnt
I learnt:-


 * That I have a tendency to judge and reject people when I think they have bad/irrational/unfair behaviours. David taught me that in the gap between the way I view the world and they way they view the world, there is a treasure trove of learning to be done.  Rather than viewing this difference and any resulting conflict as a problem, it's possible to re-frame it as an amazing opportunity for me or them to learn and change.

What Next
Both David and Steve are planning on meeting again and probably doing some more experiments.

If you're interested in doing a similar (or completely different) personal Sensemaking experiment/game, then just do and it then document it at Personal Sensemaking Experiments